Littlest (week 31)

Littlest, we had a party for you on the weekend. 

Not a baby shower, because hey, we have all the baby stuff we could possibly need, and party games aren't my thing, but just a 'hey, you're on the way and isn't it wonderful.' We combined it with my birthday party and  had a picnic in a park in the city and it was such a lovely afternoon. The weather decided to settle on perfection - being neither too hot or too cold but just right, the light was gold and dappled and all the kids played brilliantly. We had it near the Dolphin Fountain and, somewhat to my amazement no kids fell in, although Sprocket got his backside wet and threw his shoes in, but those are very minor things! 

You will be pleased to hear that you behaved beautifully, kicking just enough to let me know you were all right, but not enough to cause distress. 

I wore my 'back-up wedding dress', the one I got all those years ago in case at the last minute I outgrew the one that was mum and grannie's. I figured I'd never get another chance to wear a maternity party dress - although I'm considering wearing it as a nighty now, as it feels so comfortable and silky and it's such a waste to have it just sitting in a drawer. It seems strange to think that I'm at the same stage of pregnancy now (maybe a little under) as I was with Sprocket at my wedding! I definitely prefer the photos from this weekend - I let myself be talked into a make-up artist for the wedding, and the results were… scary. I distinctly remember looking in the mirror before we left the house and thinking I should just wash all the gunk off, but in the end I left it on and I've regretted it ever since! 

After the party we left your nana and grandpa's and returned home to our smoke-ridden town so your brother wouldn't miss any more school. Unfortunately, he was sick that night so couldn't go to school anyway. Both he and your sister came to my midwife's appointment the next day (they made a strong case that if your brother was home from school your sister should be too, to keep him company. I should never have let them persuade me…) and were very curious about what was happening. They loved hearing your heart and were interested to see the midwife check my blood pressure the same as Daddy does. We've moved on from the umbilical cord and are now talking about the amniotic fluid you swim in. Your brother wants to take you to the swimming pool to see how well you swim after all your time floating inside me. On the way in to school today we talked about all the things you will, and won't be able to do when you arrive. You will be able to feed and sleep and cry, hold their fingers and kick, you won't be able to talk or sit or walk for awhile. 

You, my littlest one, are presently still head down and your heart is doing just what it ought. 

I talked to the midwife about what to do about all the smoke surrounding us, but I still don't know if we should just pack up and move in with mum and dad until the fire's put out, or try to work around it. 

The air has seemed okay this morning - but Sunday night the stench of it woke me and it felt hard to draw breath… and when I did… it was acrid and smothering. 

I do hope it's not hurting you… the kids and I are going to pick up some of the air masks the council are giving out today. Not something I ever imagined having to do. O Little one, I do worry for you. We really haven't had any symptoms - apart from that one night - but checking the air quality every hour, so often it is deeply, deeply worrying. 

A big gust of wind has just blown up and I can see the ashes fly by, but at least there are still patches of blue. Thunderstorms are due tonight, and I'm looking forward to them washing everything clean. 

Grow well, Little one, not much longer now. 

Joining with the lovely TOI of Life of TOI and Erica of To the Sea for Blogger Baby Boom.

Weekly Stills

-Baby Scan for baby three - due next May!
-Me - trying on my wedding dress - twelve weeks pregnant. I was seven months pregnant at my wedding, but having lost weight with morning sickness and being at my lightest since pre-kid times, I wanted to see how much it needs taking in. Quite a lot!
-Beautiful rose in the front garden. The last twelve weeks have been miserable - sinusitis and then morning sickness - the roses coming out have seemed like a promise that better times are ahead. Please...
-Silkworms at my Sprocket's kindy. When I looked at them four hours earlier there were vast quantities of mulberry leaves - which they chomped through voraciously. I love the interesting things they do at the Kindy - there always seems to be something new and interesting.
-Some of the goodies at the stall my mum was manning on the weekend. Everything is made in East Timor and the profits all go to the region of Same.
-Poppet - checking out the world from a different angle.
-White roses on a red brick wall.
-Lavender and roses on a sunny spring afternoon - perfection. This is the lavender bush my Sprocket haunts, studying bees. He's been stung multiple times, but it doesn't put him off. I have explained how the poor bee dies when it stings... but the temptation to stick his nose closer is too strong!
-Bed. Where I want to be 24/7 at the moment. My Beloved has suggested that my extreme exhaustion may be caffeine withdrawal as well as morning sickness - I don't know. All I know is I would happily sleep for a couple of centuries... and then a few decades more!

Joining with the lovely Em over at The Beetle Shack for moments from our week.

Wedding Dress...

My Beloved and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary recently(ish). It sort of disappeared in a haze of sickness. I believe we ordered takeout. But there was sunny weather, and the morning sickness means that for the first time in a long time I'm back to my pre-kids weight (almost) - but anyway, it occurred to me to try on my wedding dress again.
Which is strange, because the thing about my wedding dress is that when we got married I was seven months pregnant. However, I wanted to see how much it needs to be taken in again if my Poppet decides to wear it for her wedding or my Sprocket's future spouse decides on it, or if I decide to wear it for our ten-year -anniversary/sort-of-second-wedding/but-not-so-chaotic-when-I'm-not-gigantically- pregnant-and-can-drink-champagne.
I always knew that I wanted to wear the dress my mum and her mum wore. It's changed a lot since my grandmother wore it.

 My Granny, Valerie East, Marrying George Yule

                                                                                                                                          

 Granny and Grandad in the garden on their Silver Wedding Anniversary

When Granny wore it, it had a little Peter Pan collar and long sleeves. When Mum married, the dress was posted over to England.

Mum, in Cambridge. The Peter Pan collar had gone and the sleeves had been shortened.

I tried it on periodically through all my teen years, and although there was a gorgeous Edwardian dress my Great Granny had worn that I occasionally considered, I loved that this dress had been worn by my mum and my grandmother, and that we were all the firstborn, eldest girls.
Of course, I knew when my beloved and I started trying for a baby shortly after we announced our engagement, that the dress might not fit quite so well with a baby bump. But in my (enormous) naievety I expected a. The baby would be instantly conceived and therefore born before the wedding - and that I would instantly shrink back to pre-baby size. and b. even if I was pregnant for the wedding, I would have a gorgeous little bump, while the rest of me stayed the same size.
Um. No.  While yes, I was sick during the first twelve weeks, after that I was radiantly healthy... and hungry.  Very, very hungry. Forget eating for two, I ate for three or four. The seamstress worked a miracle to get the dress to fit, and I will be forever grateful.
The dress is shorter now - material was taken from the hem to increase the sides, the neck made yet lower. The bust is considerably larger. To resize it will take a bit of work. (You might notice in the photo at the top that my hand is behind my back, pulling the dress in, and that the material is quite lose around the bust...) But it means so much that I wore the family dress, and I can't help hoping, just a leetle bit, that my Poppet wears it someday too. (Although of course if she decides to never marry or wear something entirely different that's fine too!)