Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Divas and Dentists


So this is a thing.
My Extravaganza has a smile from here to Texas. She is bossy, she is out there, she loves her clothes, her makeup, her tween shows and her drama. I often call her my Diva.
Take a good look at the photo above. The big smile, the faux fur, the makeup (subtle darling, subtle! is a constant refrain. My diva has no time for subtle) and the sequins. Don't forget the sequins.
She also has a very sweet tooth. And has already had quite a bit of dental work.
So when I saw a black line at the back of the bottom of her brand new front teeth, I panicked. Brush more! Brush harder! You are never so much as looking at sugar ever again.
I had visions of my Extravaganza toothless in those cruel teen years. Of us selling our organs to pay for new teeth.
After a couple of days of  her brushing her teeth and swishing and me brushing her teeth and her brushing and me brushing and more swishing and getting my mum to check and Beloved to check and the black line not budging I made an appointment with the dentist and sent my Extravaganza in with Beloved.
And I paced (or would have if I didn't have to feed the baby) and fretted and stressed and facebooked until I heard the car pull up and then I ran to the front door - baby still attached.
And my Extravaganza skipped in smiling and Beloved followed and silently handed me a little bag. A clear plastic bag.
And I took it and blinked at it.
It held two small flat metallic disks. With holes in the centre.
"So? So? What's wrong? Is she okay?"
"She's okay."
"So? What happened? Do we need to book the kiddy dentist surgeon?"
"She's fine. It was those."
He looked at the bag I was holding. I looked at the bag I was holding. Although I forgot the word for them for a good half hour because - getting old - I now remember those things are called sequins.
"Those?" I said.
"They were stuck between her teeth and her gum. She must have been chewing on her clothes. They'd slipped right down."
Now she hadn't said anything because - you know - brave. But it must have hurt quite a bit having them there.
"But how?"
"She said she'd been chewing on her top."
Uh-huh.

So. Do not chew on your clothes.
And only my diva could have to go to the dentist because of sequins.

Also, if you return your eyes to the photo above, I believe that top might be the guilty suspect and ex-owner of said sequins.


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